


Lessons

by hosiexa



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: 2jin!mention, Alternate Universe, F/F, Smut, chaesoul!mention, chuulip!cousins, chuuves - Freeform, lots of ITZY and (G)I-DLE mentions, sooshu!mention, yuyeon!mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:55:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28990338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hosiexa/pseuds/hosiexa
Summary: What would a teenager like Kim Jiwoo — shy, unpopular, and a failure in her love affairs — have to lose if she decided to be the student of Ha Sooyoung, one of the most desired girls in the city?
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu, Jo Haseul/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	1. Theater life

**Author's Note:**

> ok, guys, HERE I AM!!!! i love chuuves, it's my fav loona couple, and i HAD to write something with them, so here it is dfghjkfg
> 
> again, this is a fanfic i started writing in portuguese and decided to translate and bring to AO3, so i am deeply sorry for any mistakes, but let me know if you guys see any of them ok dfghcg there will be smut scenes here, but the smut itself won't be the focus, it just will be important to solidify the interactions between jiwoo and sooyoung 
> 
> YOU MUST KNOW: the story takes place in a universe in which normality matters for society is homosexuality, so homophobia is not a thing... heterophobia is.
> 
> with that said, i hope you all like it and please have a little patience with me ok sdfgycfg i'm trying my best here
> 
> enjoy!

I woke up sweating and trembling thanks to the thunder of the storm that drenched the streets outside. It was not the first time that week that it thundered so loudly, not even the second, but that is the mood belonging to Souljin's late autumn; we were lucky that it hadn't started snowing yet.

A small town is Souljin, but famous for its attractions — such as the natural and radical parks, the summer clubs, the night clubs, the paradisiacal beaches and the tourist attractions listed for world preservation, in addition to our Christmas shows —, which yielded us the visit of thousands of tourists every year and moved the economy so that we were self-sufficient. Its only negative point is the unregulated climate; for five straight months, we had only sun, pleasant breezes and sweet aromas, coming from the flowers that circulated in almost all streets and paid for a good part of the regional reforms due to their large exports. But for the rest of the year, we dealt with heavy rains, flakes snow falling without warning and loud storms like today.

Most of the population, like me, has generations and generations of their surnames fixed in the city's history, some even responsible for its foundation and growth, without ever migrating — those who migrate, however, do not go very far and always end up returning. Yoona has always said that this is because you cannot escape from your roots; you can try, but success is a chance in a million, and I’ve always believed it.

Not that I agreed to it, of course, for I still consider myself too young to decide where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

Sighing to know that I would be unable to sleep for the rest of the early morning, I passed my hands over my face and threw the pink blanket over the empty side of the bed, rising up on the floor. The phone screen said it was after five in the morning and there were two missed calls from Kim Jungeun, my only and best friend, who had tried to call me twenty minutes ago.

Honestly, our friendship is nothing but expected by everyone, and, since we make the eternal cliché of the famous films — she, being so different from me —, I think that even our relatives would have hoped that our relationship would develop romantically if we were not cousins. Thanks to all for this blood bond, because I'm not crazy enough to date that girl.

And anyway, Jungeun is parallel to me in a way that even I don't understand how we get along so well, this if we ignore all of our weekly discussions. She has an absurd ease in making friends, even though her mood changes are more constant than we would like them to be, and her emotional ability is limited to a note of, at most, 2 values.

While she is, well, _that_ , I am the girl of sympathy and kindness, who reserves herself so much in her own little world that she reached the point that, at the age of seventeen, have never went to a teenage party, while Jungeun, even with all her strong personality, has a considerable relationship with almost all social groups in the school and is never at home on weekends, even though we agreed to keep her ghostly exits from my room a secret so her parents don't go crazy.

I've lost count of how many movies, books and especially fanfics romanticize this kind of thing, this huge difference between two people, but something I discovered face to face with life is that nobody cares who you are if you prefer books to parties, nobody cares about you if they never saw you drinking or dancing to a remix by Soyeon, the aspiring DJ at my school. They cling to features that are easy to remember, such as a hair color, a traumatic event, or a relationship with someone relevant.

This is the consequence of living in a small town: as much as they don't care, everyone seems to recognize you, or certainly have seen you drinking a milkshake at Black Caffe, the most famous snack bar among Souljin residents and the place where I currently work. There is no escape from false anonymity.

And, well, actually, my mom and I work at the diner. My great grandmother opened it more than forty years ago and that has been my tiny family's business ever since. Not that I'm complaining, because Mom lets me keep tips and gives me enough wages to make purchases for my books and online courses, and sometimes even for articles by my favorite artists, like the illie Holliday's album that arrived last week. A great investment, if I'm being honest.

I returned the call and waited for Jungeun to answer. I was aware of her drunkenness before she even started to speak.

 _Jiwoo! Why didn't you answer me earlier?!_ —

— _Maybe because I was sleeping?_ — I ironized. — _It's five forty in the morning, what are you doing up?_

Despite asking, I already knew it. Everyone had been invited to the party of Seo Soojin, the most popular girl in high school, even me. Jungeun tried to convince me to go, even Seohyun tried, but nothing would make me leave the house on Tuesday night.

 _I just got home. You know, I was at Soojin's party._ —

— _Keep talking,_ — I asked and turned on the bedroom light. Fortunately, the storm was slowly subsiding.

 _Oh, yes. You will not believe who I kissed! Jo Haseul!_ —

_—Jo Haseul? Didn't she have a girlfriend?_

They broke up for the thousandth time. Kahei had opened the relationship apparently, and kissed a girl in Truth or Dare. I would not miss this chance. —

— _I bet you wouldn't. Who would miss the chance to take advantage of the vulnerability of someone else's relationship, especially when Haseul is your number one crush since Elementary I?_ — I joked, returning to sit on the bed with my notebook and case in hand.

She _kissed me, for your information. And I don't have any crush, stop having ideas!_ —

— _If you say so,_ — I rolled my eyes. — _Did your brother go with you this time?_

 _Taeyong? Yes, he did. He kissed a girl from his class... Yuna, I think. It was the first time he left the house since he came out to us._ —

— _And how are Uncle Jongin and Uncle Kyung with this? He didn't come out long ago, did he?_

 _No, he did not. A couple of weeks ago at most. But you know how my parents are, traditional and blah blah blah. Jongin is not able to deal with the situation, he keeps lamenting about it every day, but Kyung has been very close to Tae, giving support and stuff. I heard him talking on the phone yesterday with Aunt Yoona and say he's terrified of Tae killing himself because he read several reports of parents of heterosexual people on the internet who had their children commit suicide._ —

— _Yes, I was present when Mom got the call, but I came up to my room to not intrude on the conversation. I hope Uncle Jon opens his eyes to this, and the society too. 21st century and heterophobia still exists. Unbelievable._

 _Yeah, I would love for people to stop worrying so much about other people's relationships. It’s not that crazy, right? It's not like Tae is an alien. It's like, like, he prefers to eat orange over banana, simple as that._ —

— _It's a matter of humanity,_ — I completed her point of view, sighing at the sadness that hit me at the thought of how bad my cousin might be feeling.

Outside the street, I heard a loud truck noise and already knew who it was. I got out of bed and put the call on speaker, opening the side window of my room slightly. The rain was very light and the thunderstorms had stopped; the sun was beginning to color the sky above.

In front of the house next door, was Ha Sooyoung's monstrous truck, the engine screeching while the wine vehicle was being parked. Ten seconds later, the owner came out of it, slamming the door and walking hurriedly into the house, her movements too steady, as usual.

Daughter of the spinster Lee Sunmi, Sooyoung was part of the coolest crowd in the school and consequently was present at all the youthful events in the city; I was not surprised that she had just arrived from the party of one of her best friends.

To be honest, there was no person who did not wish to spend a night in her bed, myself included, however much my sexual knowledge was reduced to a failed attempt at masturbation and several fanfics with the BDSM tag, but she irritated me more than anything and that was because she was my neighbor. Like, literally my neighbor, since the windows in our rooms almost touched, so I was forced to listen to her having sex in the afternoons and her constant fights with all the partners that her mother brought home.

 _Jiwoo? Are you still there?_ — Jungeun's voice forced me to put the phone close to my mouth.

— _I am. Sorry, the noise was just Sooyoung's car,_ — I explained and watched Ha, not long after she took shelter, entering her room with a sleepy face. The gray tank top I saw her choose earlier was thrown to the floor as soon as her leg kick the door to close it, and she got rid of her black jeans as she walked to the window.

As good night, noticing my presence behind the white curtains, she winked at me before closing the blinds.

I had seen Sooyoung naked so many times, which is something that many girls would kill to see, that the event had become normal. Seeing her in a lingerie, as she was seconds ago, was a bonus. The girl took advantage of the small distance between our windows to do this, to embarrass me and take me by surprise. She smiled devilishly if she could make me blush; she left the partial entrance to her room open on purpose whenever she got out of the bath, or went to change — and I couldn't complain, not at all, since the sight of the drops of water coming down her healed body was a real work of art. Sometimes she even asked me for help in choosing the clothes she would wear when she liked two of them to much and got undecided.

Therefore, apart from our casual moments, she never spoke to me and neither did I to her.

 _Got it,_ — Jungeun murmured. — _Speaking of which, she looked_ spetacular _today._

— _I know, Jungie, I saw it. What are you doing now?_ — I closed my own window and went back to my previous position, throwing the notebook and the case over the headboard when I gave up studying anything at all.

 _Eating, obviously. Jongin made tiramisu, but Taeyong, that little brat, just ate almost everything. I had to run to get a piece. In fact, I don't think I'm even going to sleep, you know, since I'll have to get up in a bit anyway._ —

— _I was thinking the same thing. Take a shower, at least. I won't ride with you if you stink of alcohol._

 _You're a disgusting little thing, you know that? You keep putting old music in my car and still want to come and complain about how I smell._ —

— _You know just how to be unbearable, Jungeun,_ — I rolled my eyes and my room's door opened.

A Seohyun dressed in the usual gray silk robe and with sleepy features appeared.

"What are you doing up at this hour?"

"I woke up with thunder, mom," I replied and she nodded without taking her hand off the handle.

"With who are you talking to?"

— _Jungie, say hi to mama,_ — after all, it was still on speaker.

 _Aunt Seo!_ — She shouted excitedly. — _You woke up just to hear my voice, didn't you?_

"Great, that's just what I needed," murmured Mom, visually disgusted. My cousin loved to provoke her by saying she was her crush because, in one of our loose conversations in the room, Yoona said that Seohyun was always complaining during her teenage years that nobody liked her. "Don't forget to wake Yeowo, ok? And he has ballet today so he won't be released until four in the afternoon."

"Ok, good night."

"Good morning! It's already six o'clock," she corrected me. "I'm going to make breakfast. Don't wake your mom because she doesn't work until eleven today," and she left, closing the door.

 _Is she gone?_ —

— _Yes._

 _What a pity, I expected more attention from my number one love._ —

In response, I groaned and lay on my back. On the other end of the line, Jungeun laughed, her mouth sounding still full of food.

 _Do you know what your bad mood is about? You're lacking sex! Seriously, you must be the only virgin teenager at school. Actually, in the city!_ —

— _First, you're exaggerating. Second, you are also a virgin, what do you mean?!_

 _Because I'm a top, Jiwoo, you aren't! I mean, top enough to never have-_ —

— _Ew! I don't need the details!_ — I complained. — _And how do you know I'm a virgin ! Or a bottom?! You never saw me kissing anyone!_

 _Jiwoo, you can't even hear the word 'penetration' without wanting to get into a rabbit hole. And only a blind man could not see how passive you are... Submissive, even. These things, most of us can say only by distance. Trust me._ —

— _I think you should stop reading so much fanfic._

 _And I think you should have sex, but you don't listen to me either,_ — she sighed. — _Anyway, I'll be going now. I still have to try to make that brat Yeojin give me her sister's number._

— _Before thinking about harassing the poor Haseul, have you finished the Literature assignment?_ — The answer was obvious, but I still asked.

 _Damn it! That's meant for today?!_ —

— _Jungie, I told you about this yesterday. You kiss the girl once and already want to piss her dad off?_

 _Shut up, virgin. I bet no one did it except you. And Taemin is a fucking bastard for putting the work's deadline on Wednesday and not Friday when he knew well enough about Soojin's party! That was very slutty of him._ —

— _I adore the love you have for your future father-in-law._

 _Watch your mouth, Kim Jiwoo. Father-in-law my dick!_ —

I laughed. Her trauma of lovemaking, not that she called it that, was always comical in my view because, as much as Junguen closed himself off from it, I always knew she would be an incredible girlfriend.

— _Go finish your homework, even if it's during your discussion with Yeojin. I'm going here, I have to wake up Yeowo. Love you._

 _Love you. Goodbye._ —

I ended the call and put my backpack on the desk to see if I had put the right books in the previous afternoon. I felt the mattress vibrate behind me and checked my cell phone; it had a whirlwind of messages from Jungeun.

 _Jungie_  
Jiwoo (06h12)  
What work is about (6:12 am)  
Jiwoooooooooooo (06h12)  
Save me here, girl (6:12 am)  
Where are you, you little pillow princess (06h13)  
What do I have to do? (6:15 am)  
How much does it worth? (6:15 am)  
Fuck it, I won't do it (6:16 am)

 **Jiwoo**  
honestly, Jungeun (6:17 am)  
I wrote it down for you in your notebook (06h17)

 **Jungie**  
I can't find it (06h18)  
Help (6:18 am)

 **Jiwoo**  
you have to write a poem or poetry on some topic and present it in class (06h19)  
and you have to explain why you chose this topic (6:18 am)  
invent a pseudonym to sign it... Professor Lee said that this will also count for the final grade (6:19 am)

 **Jungie**  
I love you, my beautiful cousin (6:20 am)

 **Jiwoo**  
I know (06h20)

(...)

"I feel trapped, locked up, glued to the character they created for me. But doesn't fit, not for me. They got the wrong number; the fantasy isn't fitting. Therefore, I don't understand the significance of it all. It's not my mistake and still, they go on, the disgusting looks, the icy voices, the mean names. I just love... After all, that's what my father taught me: to love. To love without fear, to love without control. To love without regret. I just didn't know that the love, that pure love, has genitals. I can’t think for myself anymore, they want to control me, they want to restrict me. They want me to feel bad for the disappointments that don't belong to me, disappointments of a future that they once wrote for my character. Not for me. I stop, breathe, and think: it's my life. And I repeat: it is my life. However, when I go out on the street, and these times are many, whether with my rainbow or company, I represent the lives of thousands of other people, people who formed to the invisibility of their lives, their rights, their voices and their struggles. Free life; free of stones, free of fear, free of control... Life free of characters. Free of curtains, lines, makeup, wigs... Theater-free life. It was my life. It is no longer mine anymore."

As soon as my cousin finished speaking, the claps of our classmates, including the teacher's, were heard, praising both her poem and her interpretation.

Jungeun had always been a true artist in every way. Her talent was born with her and was discovered early in childhood, when she stole the attention of the First Series choir by going up on stage and singing the national anthem alone. Her nature for every artistic area was revealed in sequence, sometimes with small poems, sometimes with small scribbles in her school notebooks that looked more like perfect caricatures, which was why many of our high school classmates admired her: her talent made her name and assured her lots of girls declaring for her every Valentine's Day.

Even though she wrote her poetry two hours before class, all of us from class C — third year of high school — knew that her grade would be the highest.

"And who signs this text?" Professor Lee asked after demanding that the claps cease. He looked at her hoping that she, like the sloppy mind she had, would falter at the end of her presentation.

"Kim Lip, Professor."

While Taemin hardened his expression at not getting what he wanted, the rest of us laughed at Jungeun's unusual choice.

"Sit down, Miss Kim," he said and she so did, winking at me before sitting down by my side — we were table mates in all the classes we had together since we started school. The man stood up. "Now, this question is for everyone: what is the poetry we just heard about? Was its theme clear? Was there a figure of speech? What, or how, did it make you feel?"

The extremely outstretched hand, which made her arm look like a baseball bat, belonged to Wong Kahei, one of the school's most boring cheerleaders to ever exist, in my opinion.

"If I may, Professor," she crossed her bare legs and fixed her posture, putting her orange hair back. "The poetry refers to the practice of heterosexuality, as we all could see," she turned her entire body back just so she could face Jungeun. "I knew your brother was heterosexual, Kim, but I confess that I'm surprised to know that you are too."

Few laughed at Kahei's poison, some for the friendship they maintained with Jungeun and others out of respect for the cause, but Professor Lee did not seem to like the comment, raising his thick eyebrows and tilting his body.

However, my cousin stole the man's speech.

"Shut up, you wretch!"

"You shut up, you filth bitch!" Kahei responded in an even more aggressive tone... She clearly hadn't gotten over the kiss of her ex-girlfriend and her classmate.

"Get over it, Kahei! No one is to blame if you can't keep a girlfriend for more than two months!"

"You-"

"If I hear another word from either of you, I'll send both to the principal's office," Mr. Lee threatened, his sharp eyes making even me, who had nothing to do with that, cower in my chair.

From the little I knew about Jo Haseul, I can imagine that if she had witnessed the moment — she belongs to class A, therefore not taking mandatory classes with us —, she would have isolated herself, embarrassed, and would run as soon as the lunch alarm stopped her father's speech.

"We will continue the reading in the next class," he warned, but half the class was already out of the room.

"I swear on everything that if that unbearable little bitch says something about Taeyong again, I'm going to rip every damn orange hair out of her!" Jungeun's face was still red when we entered the cafeteria.

"Calm down, Jungie, she only did that 'to piss you off. You know that," I tried to help, but since my cousin's anger was encouraged, it was very difficult to get her through.

She didn't say anything else and I didn't insist for fear of saying the wrong thing and making the situation worse, so I just accompanied her to the lunch line because, after all, I was hungry.

We didn't normally have lunch at school, we always ended up ordering something from my mom's cafeteria or left the student territory to cross the street and eat pizza at one of the several fast food restaurants that there is in the neighborhood, but whenever Jungeun drank or one of us felt the need to eat something more nutritious, we opted for the menu offered by the canteen and spent the rest of our lunch hours on the floor of the library corridor, where no one attended, enjoying the music that the school radio echoed everywhere.

"Who do you think is responsible for the radio?" Jungeun asked me when she finished copying my answers from the History assignment, chewing on one of her flavored jellies that she had insisted on buying at the school bar. "Because, like, I could really borrow the person's playlist."

"Soyeon, maybe?"

"Nah, she doesn't like to be involved in extracurricular activities."

"Then I don't know, but whoever it is, they have good taste."

According to Google, after I searched for the lyrics of the song, what was playing now was a song called Seven Bridges Road, by Steven Young, and even though I wasn't a big fan of Country music, I was happy listening to it. The lyrics were beautiful and Steven's voice was really cool. It stayed in my head so much that, later, already on my four-hour shift at Black Caffe, while I answered the questions in the Math A questionnaire, it sounded in my headphones in repetition until every second of the song was tattooed in my head. 


	2. The Chemistry homework

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heejin is sick and asks Jiwoo to give her homework to Hyunjin, but Hyunjin is with the soocer team...

Today is Monday, which means that I would have my first two periods of the day filled with Chemistry classes, and Jungeun doesn't have Chemistry because Chemistry was an optional subject and there's no way she would freely choose to spend her last year having more classes of exact subjects than what she needs to, so, of course, I didn't have a ride to school on Mondays and ended up depending on Seohyun.

"Why don't you get your driving license?" Yeowo, my younger brother, asked. He was ten years old and had the cutest eyes in the whole world.

We were having breakfast and Mama had made blueberry pancakes, which caused both of our mouths to be dramatically purple.

"I don't have a car, Yeowo."

"But you could," interrupted Yoona, sitting at the table with us seconds later; her coffee mug in her hand and a toast around her lips.

"I don't know if I want to."

"When I'm old, I'll buy the most beautiful car that there is in the store!" Yeowo declared, his fork hitting the table hard.

"I hope so, Yeowo. One less child to take everywhere," joked Seohyun as she entered the room. She had gone to the bathroom to braid her hair.

"Hey! Not driving at seventeen is completely normal," I declared.

"Yes, but it's not that normal to be seventeen and not _want_ to drive," Yoona pointed out . "At your age, I was already begging my parents to give me a car just so I could take the girls out on dates. I was very successful."

I saw Seohyun roll her eyes behind Mama's body and laugh, watching her approach us to kiss Yoona's head.

"I'll stay in the office for a bit more today, you're going to have to pick up Yeowo," she warned her, waving a hand at me to get up and sending a kiss to my brother. "Bye, dear. Have a great day."

I got up and ran my mouth running to get the coloring out before grabbing my backpack and following my mom to the car.

Seohyun is a lawyer and works at a firm on the edge of the city, which can be transleted to a lot of time spent commuting — that is, from home to work and vice versa. For someone forty-two years old, she's extremely good looking and kept her peace, and the peace of the house, flowing — not that there were many disagreements between our little family, but Yeowo knew how to be unbearable when he wanted to and Yoona never managed to understand why I prefer to be quiet in my room, so Seohyun was the mediator between us.

I have always considered her a role model, although many of her habits are not healthy. For example, my obsession with my studies came from her obsession with her routine: she has a right time for everything, nothing can happen if it hasn't been programmed, and everything has to be her way, which really makes things harder sometimes.

On the other hand, although I never choose her to have conversations about sentimental things, school problems or something like that, because she wouldn't know how to deal with any of this and wouldn't be able to get the subject out of her head, my taste in classical music comes entirely from her. All of my childhood memories are washed down by a soundtrack composed of songs by Billie Holliday, Nat King Cole, Frank Sinatra and Louis Armstrong, and, of course, musicals like Chicago, Hairspray, The Wizard of Oz, Singing in Rain and The Rocky Horror, one of my favorites.

That is, whenever I get in her car, I know that I can rest my head and wait for the time to get out peacefully without having to put my headphones on. This time, Dean Martin sounded during our ride with the song _Everybody Loves Somebody_ , and I got out of the vehicle with my patience renewed, ready for the day that presented itself to me.

The chemistry teacher, Miss Kang, told us to do all the practical activities she could and presented the new work schedule that would serve for the semester. What worried me the most, along with the absurd amount of homework that she gave us — all the theoretical part of what we did — was that my table partner Jeon Heejin, was not present at either time and it didn't usually happen because, for all I knew, Heejin was a very good student.

So, as soon as the signal for the next class rang, I looked for her number in the WhatsApp group of the subject and sent her a message asking if she was okay, just to check it out, before exchanging my books in the locker and going to the English room, ready to have two more blocks of the same subject.

Jungeun arrived ten minutes late, sweating in her jeans and red sweater, making it clear to everyone how much she had run down the school corridors to get there in time, but there was no complaint because our new teacher had managed to be more seven minutes late than she did, and the two hours of class were dedicated to individual presentations and content sharing.

It is a real bore to change teachers in the middle of the year because now I would have to get used to a way of teaching totally different from Miss Im, my old teacher. But it is what it is, I guess.

"What did you think of Professor Park?" Jungeun asked as soon as we finished our order. My stomach was almost begging to eat the hamburger I was waiting for.

"He seems to be meticulous, but I don't think we're going to have a hard time adapting."

She was silent for a while, but her thoughtful features remained. She spoke again only when the waitress left after handing us our plates of food.

"He looks straight."

I looked at her and waited for her to develop her sentence, but nothing came. "What do you mean? What do you mean, he 'looks straight'?"

How the heck can someone _look_ straight?

"I've been talking to Taeyong, you know? And I think my straight radar is getting better, a lot better. Professor Park gives me that vibe," her fingers continued to press the ketchup against her fries. "Anyway, I heard that he's new to the city too, so we'll know soon enough."

"I don't know if I feel good knowing about other people's private lives, Jungie," I was sincere, stuffing as much of the burger as I could into my mouth at once. After swallowing, I felt my belly heat up in approval. "Why are you so interested?"

"Well, I don't know any heterosexuals other than Taeyong. Like, someone older, you know? I want him to have someone to look at, to help him. What if he gets Yuna pregnant or, like, something embarrassing happens," she shakes her shoulders. "I think Jongin would have a stroke"

"He would," I laughed. "But if it is so important to you that Taeyong has guidance about his sex life, you could go to the Support Center and sign him up for a conversation. I heard it's really good, very informative."

Jungeun froze and only her eyes slowly went up to look at me. "How do you know this?"

I blushed. "I don't know if it's my place to talk about it-"

"It's me, Jiwoo! I'm not going to tell anyone."

"Right..." If it weren't for Jungeun, I wouldn't tell. "Heejin's twin, you know? She told me last week that he came out as bisexual, but only for the family for now, and the father is making him go to the center to ensure some mental health and such."

"Wow," she pushed the air out dramatically. "I had no idea! I always thought Jungkook had something to do with his friend, Jimin. Or even Taehyung. Or both, who am I to judge?!"

"I don't know about that, she said nothing."

We finished our meal and, since we weren't at school, we spent our time on our cell phones. I took advantage of the rest of our free minutes to play some Sudoku and Jungeun, I'm sure, went to Google to search for the city's Support Center. However, without warning, she jumped out of her chair and improvised a victory dance.

"What is it?" I asked.

"We don't have any more classes for today."

"What?! What do you mean? How do you know that?"

"Do you know Lia? The foreign girl," she returned to sit across from me.

"She's our class representative, Jungie. We all have to know who she is."

She rolled her eyes. "She texted the class group just now saying that Professor Jay was absent, so we don't have Physical Education, and that Miss Kim is still on leave, meaning there's no Korean!"

"Hm... All right," I looked at the display of my wristwatch. "It's still twenty past twenty and my shift today only starts at six. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know, anything as long as it's far away from here," her eyes lit up, having an idea. "Umbrella Academy!"

"What?"

"Oh, come on, Jiwooming, you promised to watch it with me and now we have time!"

It took me a few seconds to assimilate the facts. Okay, Umbrella Academy, that Netflix show that Jungeun had been trying to get me to watch with her for almost a month — she hates watching things on her own and there's no way to do it with the girls she hooks up with because, well, that would be creating intimacy and she's too paranoid for that — about empowered children.

I had been trying to avoid this event with the excuse of not having time because I think TV series are a real bore, but now that we did have time, it would be cruel to deny something I gave my word that I would do.

"Alright, we can do this."

We got up after Jungeun made sure that none of her parents would be home this afternoon and my cell phone vibrated in my pocket as soon as we stepped onto the sidewalk.

 **Jeon Heejin**  
I got sick... Chickenpox (1:46 pm)  
Thanks for worrying, tho (1:46 pm)  
But did you take my homework? (1:47 pm)

 **Jiwoo**  
I did, I have it (13h48)  
do you want me to go to your house to give them to you? (1:28 pm)

 **Jeon Heejin**  
Nooooooo  
I am not allowed to receive visits  
... the risk of contagion and such  
But can you give it to Hyunjin, please?

 **Jiwoo**  
uh  
all right ?

Jungeun, already by my side, frowned at me after trying to read the messages and not understanding the context. "What does Jeon Heejin want with you?"

Yes, if even the invisible students at the school knew Jeon Heejin, it is clear that Jungeun would. In fact, the entire Jeon family is spoken by the citizens of Souljin because, in addition to being like mine, one of the founding families, they are extremely wealthy, owning most of our commercial tourist goods.

Jeon Kyunkung, the family patriarch, took over all the family's business after his father's death — due to natural causes — five years ago and has been little seen in the city ever since, thanks to his overseas investments.

From what Seohyun told me about him from her professional experiences — she was the one who gave him reliable foreign names for his projects —, the man is too serious and his head is fixated on his work, leaving very little time, or no time at all, for his children. The legitimate ones, at least, the twins Jeon Heejin and Jeon Jungkook, because, even if no one comments it out loud, Soyeon is highly despised by her father for being the consequence of Jeon Maksu's, the dead husband of Kyunkung, cheating.

Jeon Soyeon really has nothing to do with her siblings, even though her relationship with Heejin is as sweet as possible. She has socialization problems and prefers to stay behind her mixer, the big neon yellow headphones always in her ears, providing a good series of remixes for everyone around her than actually mixing between partygoers. Nothing I can judge her for, anyway. And, from what I've heard, she only hangs out with her sister's group when Seo Soojin, surprisingly her best friend, is present. Other than that, it will only be possible to see her clinging to the arms of Nicha, a Thai girl with pink hair who has super hippy vibes, mumbling something or other around the school.

Being her complete opposite, Jeon Jungkook is just like a prince of Souljin High, and would really have the title if Kim Namjoon, our best basketball player, had not kept it since his arrival in the city.

Particularly, I never interacted with Jungkook, but Jungeun did and said that he has been a wreck since Maksu's death, a few years ago, nothing like the cool kid that cheered everyone up in kindergarten. He no longer attends church, is always late for classes and has been caught by Heejin three times smoking what he shouldn't have. Boys like Lee Minhyuk and Lee Jooheon, those considered 'bad influences' for getting involved with bad things, are currently his best friends.

Jungeun's insensitive says this is nothing more than 'problems of the rich', but I think he should be admitted into a hospital or something to receive the proper psychological treatment he needs before something worse happens. And his twin agrees with me.

Jeon Heejin, the leader of the school's math club, is the oldest — by fifteen minutes from Jungkook and a whole year from Soyeon — and the victim of her father's entire professional faith. He expects her to take over the family's business and, until now, such are her plans. I know this because she tends to talk too much about everything during our time together, but despite being chatty, she's a sweet person and cares about her brothers more than she should. They are always the subject of our one-sided conversations during Chemistry classes — this is, when Kim Hyunjin doesn't occupy her thoughts.

And of course; Kim Hyunjin.

They've been dating for three years now and a large part of the local church community is already waiting to hear about a future marriage, because yes, they have that kind of stability, or so that's what they aloow us to see.

"I promised that I would hand over her Chemistry homework, but I can't go to her house," I started to explain. "So she asked me to deliver it to Hyunjin."

Her mouth opened ready to speak again, but a new notification came and attracted the attention of both of us.

 **Jeon Heejin**  
(14h01) I spoke to her... She's still at school  
(14h01) She's in the soccer training, on the court  
(14h02) Can you go there now?

 **Jiwoo**  
ok (14h03)  
I'm going (14h03)

 **Jeon Heejin**  
(14h03) A thousand thanks, Jiwooming

" _Jiwooming_ ," jeered Jungeun and I rolled my eyes.

"Stop it. You sound like an idiot."

I spent all the way back to school with her laughing next to me and making fun of the new nickname, as if that didn't happen to _Chuu_ on a daily basis.

Damn Chuu! A boy named Jo Hyung invented it when we were in kindergarten and I had to play the role of a train for the Children's Day play, and the thing has since become popular. My life was a hell even during Elementary II, when the kids seemed to get even more mean and got into the habit of messing with other people's classmates.

Nowadays, they still use the nickname, but not so much with the same intention as a few years ago, fortunately. It doesn't mean that it doesn't bother me in the same way, though.

We were already on the court, a large open space with bleachers and a grass field with game marks, when my cousin stopped walking and I looked back to frown.

"What is it?"

"I'm not going there, Jiwoo!"

"What? Why?"

She tugged on my arm and pointed to the reserve benches, where a small group of girls, the team's official players, were concentrated. All wore gym clothes, since the uniform was not required during training, and seemed to be having a friendly conversation. I could see Kim Hyunjin, the only one sitting, tying the laces of her blue sneakers; Yeh Shuhua beside her, holding a portable mini-fan in front of her face; Ha Sooyoung reaching out with her hands on the back of her waist; Shin Ryujin, crouched on the floor to fix her socks; and Jung JinSoul, Hyunjin's half sister, with all her big blond hair falling down her back, trying to pin it with the elastic on her wrist.

Oh. _Now_ I get it.

If there is a reason why Jungeun is totally against relationships, it has a first and last name: Jung JinSol.

The story is sad, if I'm very sincere. They dated for a while during the First Year and Jungie was really in love — JinSoul liked her a lot too, I think —, but it was all over when Yeojin, the most gossip preteen in the whole school, leaked on her blog the blonde's parallel relationship with Park Chaewon, a member of the cheerleading squad, and we found out that the supposed relationship between Jungeun and JinSoul was nothing but a bet that went on for too long.

Jungeun doesn't speak to either of them until today and avoids both Hyunjin and Yerim, the players' younger sister, so emotionally traumatized that she got. Not that she will demonstrate or admit it, of course.

"It's okay, I can go alone," I assured her, giving her a loving look. "Can you hold my backpack?"

I took the extra sheets out of my binder, leaving the suitcase with her and went to the girls, already feeling my cheeks getting hotter because I had to intrude on the conversation, but I didn't even need to do it because Ha Sooyoung noticed me first. She looked at me walking towards her while she stretched her arms and smiled, a half closed smile that made me want to run away, and her naked, healed abdomen attracted my eyes for a second.

But _no,_ Ha Sooyoung is problem and I didn't go there for that.

The girls' gaze followed hers and, suddenly, even Hyunjin was already standing.

I looked down when I got close enough. "Uh... Hello. I'm sorry to interrupt, but Heejin asked me to give you her homework and-"

"It's okay, she told me about it," Hyunjin cut me off, finding the situation as uncomfortable as I was, and took the notebook out of my arms. "Thank you, I will give it to her."

My attention was drawn to JinSoul, who was already standing right next to Ryujin and was looking at me as if I were the strangest creature in the world.

Yeah, maybe I still had some resentment for what she did to Jungeun.

"Is that all?" She raised her eyebrows when asked. Shin Ryujin gave her a discreet elbow which, I imagine, I shouldn't have seen. But I saw it.

"Yeah- I- Uh... I'm sorry," and I walked away as fast as I could, walking back to my cousin while trying not to show the trembling of my hands so I didn't look like a complete idiot.

"Let's get the hell out of here," she said, crossing our arms and dragging us quickly out of sight.

We walked to the garage and drove to her house, stopping two houses before Jungeun's because, as both her parents had cars, there was not enough space left to park hers, and we both sighed in relief as we passed the door.

The Kim residence was not far from my own, but it was quite different in terms of architecture. It had extremely elegant exterior walls, dark and brownish stone, almost wine, but uniform, and a small garden that was looked after by Jongin and, when forced, by Jungeun as well. At the back was a small pool and a small grill, the stage for our family lunches that tended to be barbecue.

The inside, on the other hand, was clear and had more lights than it should have, despite continuing with the fashion of stones and plaster. There was a large living room that was only used by Taeyong and his addiction to video games, a dining room that rarely served any purpose, a large kitchen and a suite that they had transformed into a mini-library, with shelves and more shelves with books and CDs; the bathroom had been redone for general use.

On the second floor, the place where we went as soon as we got all possible food from the kitchen cupboards, it was composed of my uncles' suite, Kyungsoo's office, since he usually works at home — privileges of being an Editor, Head of a publisher —, and the rooms of my cousins, connected by the bathroom they shared since they were born.

Jungeun's room, as much as everyone thought it was not, was constantly the most tidy bedroom among the three... Consequences of having the ascendant in Virgo, I think. The walls were ice-white, the wardrobe was from a very beautiful light wood and the double bed was positioned in the very center, and it didn't even look like it once had a canopy, which Jungeun had convinced her parents to remove after she had it painted entirely black on purpose. There was a desk in a corner and, just on the wall above, a huge picture frame with lots of pictures of us fixed, her favorite drawings and phrases from her poems that she considered most striking. The door and windows were already covered with her paintings.

"Damn, I forgot the computer in the living room," she said. "Stay here, I'll be right back," I nodded and left my backpack on the chair, responding with an emoji to Heejin's thanks.

Not that I'm a snooper, but I went to the desk right away looking for Jungeun's new projects. I always loved to read and see the things she created, I appreciated it a lot, and I noticed that there were new paintings, small pictures containing flying birds and another with an owl in a dark forest and even scattered doodles, which meant that she had spent the night working on whatever it was, like the traditional artist she is.

However, what caught my attention were the small rectangular papers piled up, all light green, some empty and others with small phrases and no signature. They looked like notes and it puzzled me... Was Jungeun sending them to someone?

"What is this?" I asked when I heard her close the door just after she entered the room. She took a few seconds to look at me, busy adjusting the wire on the computer charger in a way that we could comfortably watch, and she came over to see what my question was about.

I saw her face frezze. She never opened up easily, but she tried when she was with me.

"Curiosity killed the cat," she murmured, collecting the notes and closing them in some drawer.

I knew in that instant that there was something going on, but said nothing more to respect her will. She would speak when she was comfortable to or when she could no longer bear to keep the secret. I put my faith in the second option because my cousin is so bad at keeping secrets that we could never do something cool in childhood, like running away from piano lessons for ice cream, because she always ended up giving us away.

We lay down on her bed and she started the show.

Spoiler: the show took us so long that by the end of the season, it was already two in the morning and thankfully Uncle Jongin had told my moms where I was when he came into the room to bring us food minutes after arriving from work or I would be dead.

I ended up sleeping there, that was only after doing my schoolwork at the time Jungeun was painting something new. What was it, three, four in the morning?


	3. Ha Sooyoung's house

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiwoo finally has her first kiss and... It's a little unexpected.
> 
> It doesn't mean she didn't like it, though.

My alarm went off exactly at eight-thirty in the morning, but I was so lazy to get up that I lay for another twenty minutes under my covers, sailing between sleep and sobriety. It was only when Yoona appeared at my door, already at nine o'clock, that I finally got up and took a hot shower, an escape from the freezing morning breeze.

Saturdays were lazy days when, normally, our routine was calm and empty. We woke up late, ate a hearty breakfast and walked to the church to watch the ten o'clock preaching. However, I decided to delay my breakfast to advance some school tasks and tidy up my room, which really needed some organization. I left it to go downstairs dressed in my light pink dress with short sleeves and a white sneaker — I couldn't help noticing that the windows in Sooyoung's room were closed and dark, which didn't surprise me at all, since she didn't even wake up early on school days, let alone on weekends.

My mothers were waiting for me at the table while Yeowo was lying on the sofa, his body clumsy on the upholstery, covered in a light blue sweatshirt and dark jeans, his eyes fixed on the television cartoon.

I smiled when Seohyun, laughing at something her wife had said, asked for her hand and gave her a kiss, without noticing my approach until I was already sitting next to her.

"Good morning," I wished when they looked at me and they responded right away, starting to dictate everything that was available for my meal even though I could see it.

Since I wasn't so hungry, a bowl of cereal with milk did the job, leaving me time to brush my teeth before meeting my family in front of the house to walk to the church. Coincidentally, Mrs. Lee was leaving her residence at the same time and we all exchanged polite nods when we saw her get into her car before we walked away slowly.

Lee Sunmi, Ha Sooyoung's mother, is physically a true older, but no less beautiful, version of her daughter, and has been openly bisexual since she moved to the city two decades ago. For the little that my mothers talked to her at their friendly get-togethers, neighborhood parties and, even more rarely, school events, Sunmi is an advertising person, she works in a specific area of the local television publisher and had become pregnant shortly after finishing college. However, Sooyoung's father's family was very conservative and did not allow them to be together, driving the man away from his loved one and causing her to be forced to raise the child alone.

Much of this explains her current behaviors, her craving for the perfect relationship and the constant failure to find it. The whole neighborhood knows, out of sheer curiosity and observation, how many sexual partners Sunmi has had during these twenty years of living in Souljin, all of them holding the official title of boyfriend or girlfriend, but not even one seemed to work, forcing her to continue her search until nowadays.

In view of all the lovers of her mother who were often at her home, being part of her life for a short time and then never being seen again, since she was about five years old, I think it's understandable Sooyoung's hesitation to commit. Of course, I don't see — and even if she did, it would still not be my problem because life is hers alone — a problem in how active her sex life is; most of the single and popular people in the school, which explains so much demand, also have it, but I disagree with Jungeun when my cousin calls her a player.

Sooyoung doesn't win the girls' hearts, as far as I know. She doesn't play with their emotionals or make promises of love or anything. She only has sex with girls who feel the same attraction and I don't know if the word _player_ is the one that best defines her actions.

"Hello? Earth to Jiwoo?" Jungeun's voice took me out of my thoughts and only then did I notice that we were already on the church's sidewalk, a simple and tall building, with a bell probably bigger than me at the top and a beautiful garden, maintained by the city's volunteers, around. The clear letters above the entrance gates formed the phrase ' _Souljin Agnostic Spiritualist Church_ '. "What happened to you today? I've been calling you for, like, two minutes."

I pretended to yawn to look convincing. "Lack of sleep, Jungie. I still need to sleep for a few hours."

By the frequency that my insomnia attacked, she believed it and we got in with arms crossed, as we have done since we were little. I saw her parents near the altar, both in suits, Uncle Jongin talking to his older sister, Seohyun, while KyungSoo squeezed Yeowo's cheeks, right next to Yoona, the only one who was already sitting like the good sedentary woman she always was.

We sat away from strangers — unknown relatives only, since we already knew the names of everyone there thanks to our years of attendance — and in half an hour Kim Taeyeon, our spiritual leader, started the blessings of the day.

"And he told me that he's really thinking about making things official with Yuna," continued my cousin, recounting updates on her brother's romantic life, whispering close to my ear as I tried to pay attention to both speeches. "He asked me to do something nice and all, but I still don't know what to do. Like, do you think a poem or a picture of them would be better? Because I-"

"Jungie," I called her out, my eyes fixed on the way Taeyeon, stretching out there at the altar, looked at us. We were being inconvenient, and Jungeun noticed it and shut up, sending our leader a half-embarrassed smile as she fixed her posture.

Leader Kim shifted her focus from us tand it was enough to Jungeun to get her cell phone out of her pocket and start messing around, as she did almost every time. Well, pity her because today's sermon had been extremely beautiful, a critical allegory to the actions of the city next door, Boku, that burned their Aid Center two early nights and spread the news as an accident, when there were witnesses to prove it wasn't just like that.

However, an hour and a half later, when we were already gone, Jungeun asked me to summarize the day's speech and was disappointed that she had not paid attention; that was a subject that interested her a lot today.

I was about to respond when my cell phone vibrated against my hand.

 **Jeon Heejin**  
Hi, Jiwoo !! (12:45)  
Sorry to just answer you just now (12:45 pm)  
I was having a conversation with Soyeon... lol (12:45 pm)  
But yes, I really need you to give my homework to Hyunjin again (12:46 pm)

 **Jiwoo**  
where does she live? (12:48 pm)  
... I think I can ask Jungeun to take me (12:48 pm)

 **Jeon Heejin**  
Nooooo! There's no need! (12:49 pm)  
She's at Sooyoung's house (12:49 pm)  
You guys are neighbors, aren't you? (12:50)  
No need to take a ride or anything (12h50

 **Jiwoo**  
oh (12:50)  
yeah, we are (12h50)  
I'll take it there, as soon as I arrive home (12:51 pm)  
I'll just need ten minutes (12h51)

 **Jeon Heejin**  
No problems! (12:52)  
Thanks again, Jiwooming (12:52 pm)

"Again?" Jungeun frowned as she approached to read the conversation. "Didn't you already deliver it like, two weeks ago?"

"Yes, but she's still sick, Jungie," I explained. "The poor girl has two weeks of accumulated homework to do, I'm just doing-"

"The least to help," she mocked. "I know, I know. But I think she'll be back to school this week, so did Soyeon say to Taeyong, anyway."

"I didn't know they were from the same class."

"And they're not. But Tae needed help to set up a History work and I think Soyeon was the best option. She understands more about technology than anyone."

I frowned. "But what about Hyejoo?

"That bastard!" Her tone made me laugh. The competition that Jungeun imposed between Taeyong's best friend and she was always funny. "The only thing that stupid girl uses her time to do is to play video games, there's nothing else in her head! And she still decided to sleep at _my_ house! At pizza night! Can you believe it?! Stupid, stupid girl!"

"Jiwoo, dear," called Uncle KyungSoo, suddenly approaching us with my mothers on his tail, even though they were engaged in their own conversation. "Are you going to the cinema with your cousins?"

"What?"

"Uh, Dad, I haven't asked her yet," said Jungeun, rolling her eyes and turning to me, undoing her sulky features at Hyejoo's departure from the subject. "Taeyong wants to watch that new Marvel movie and I promised to go with him. Do you want to come along?"

"Oh, of course," I replied only because my cousin had told me, via cell phone messages, yesterday afternoon that she would be covering an alleged date of her brother and Yuna. "But I need to go home first. I promised that I would hand over a homework to a friend."

"So we do it like this: we go back to our homes and, as I'm going by car, I'll stop by to get you in what, ten minutes?"

I waved to Jungeun. "It's fine for me," but I expected one of my moms to say something.

"Let me know if you're going to sleep out or not," was all Yoona said. I was sure that she had already discovered all of our dirty scheme, but she wouldn't say anything because she would hate to be the annoying mother or pleasure killer. She liked to leave that role for her wife to take over.

The four of us walked home and I hurried to separate Heejin's homework, placing tha pages in a sorter so that the sheets wouldn't get lost. I also put on a black pantyhose under the dress and got an overcoat because it was still early winter and that means the weather can change at any time. For example, our morning had been a little warm, although it was initially cold, but I bet it will get quite cold at night.

I put my phone in my pocket and left, sending a kiss to my family before slamming the door and crossing the ten meters to the front door of Sooyoung's house.

Unexpectedly, Shin Ryujin answered the door. She looked surprised, dressed in her gray sweatshirt shorts and black blouse that was three times her size, but still she got out of the way and asked me to come in.

"Jiwoo, right?" I nodded. "I didn't know you were coming, too."

I recognized the voices shouting in the room as belonging to Yeh Shuhua and Choi Miyeon, and I saw the vision of half of Seo Soojin's head through the entrance hall, her eyes fixed on her cell phone and ignoring the mess around her.

"I-I wasn't..." I took another breath, pressing the folder against my chest. "I just came to give Heejin's homework to Hyunjin. I was told she would be here."

"Oh, were you?"

"She told me!" I corrected myself quickly. "Heejin. Heejin told me. She told me to come here to hand it over."

Ryujin smiled, obviously amused by my mini-outbreak, but she didn't seem to be doing it in a mean way, so I relaxed.

"She was in the kitchen with Soo the last time I checked. Come on," her head gestured for me to follow her and I did so, trying not to pay attention to anything in the house because, well, I hadn't even been invited to to be there, so it wouldn't be impolite. She stopped in front of an empty space, poking her head in and tilting her body. "Hey, Soo! Did you see Hyunjin around? Jiwoo came to deliver some Heejin stuff."

I was pushed into the kitchen, a rectangular room with dark blue cabinets and a small stone island in the middle, and Ha Sooyoung's figure turned to me, the blouse tied under her breasts showing her abdomen, as usual, and the pants too loose to not fall off her hips. There was a glass of water in her hand and she promptly left it on top of the marble when she looked at me.

"She went to take a shower, I think. Check upstairs," she said to Ryujin and we both watched the girl nod and leave, going up the stairs. "Let me guess... Church?" My outfit answered for me. "Is Mrs. Kim still the spiritual leader? I adored that woman, she always gave out the best candies on Halloween."

I smiled at the memory of an eleven-year-old Sooyoung dressed in a very good skeleton costume and very strange hair. We spent the whole night meeting because, apparently, our route was similar.

"Me too. Her sweets are still the best, by the way."

Her eyebrows shot up. "You still go out to collect candy?"

"Yoona makes me take Yeowo when she's busy," I explained and her eyes traveled back to me, ending up laughing. "What?"

"I think it's funny. Does your church know that you spy on girls from your room to see them naked?"

My mouth opened. "I don't- I never- I don't spy on anyone! You leave your window open, it's hard not to look when that's the only view I have!"

"Whatever you say to get to sleep at night," her hot laugh sounded, loud and sweet, enjoying my embarrassment.

"We're agnostics. We don't follow... Hm, specific dogmas or sanything like that."

"So your spying is allowed?" My entire face reddened and she, smiling like a demon, approached me — perhaps even more than she should have. "Tell me, what do you think when you watch me change clothes?"

Her orbs were staring at mine, but the only thing I could look at was her lips, wet from the water she had drunk just before, ajar for an answer that would not come. I found myself in a scene from so many of the improper stories that I have read, the effervescent feeling growing as well as in all my favorite characters, something that I have never experienced before outside my thoughts.

"I can stop if you want," she whispered, but it was too late. Controlled by the tension between us myself, I took the first step, tilting my neck so that our lips touched in a sticky encounter, the sorter in my arms falling to the floor when her hands tightened on my waist, pressing me against the closet sink.

Sooyoung pulled my hair and controlled our touch, leading me while I, who had no idea what else to do but taste her, held her shoulders to keep her from going away; my skin under the white overcoat burning for something unknown: desire.

However, our moment did not last much longer, because, the second time I did it, I heard my name being shouted from not far from us and panicked, quickly moving away from my neighbor and grabbing the classifier fro the floor while my hands tried to fix the mess that was my red hair.

Kim Hyunjin's figure appeared in the kitchen seconds later, her black hair entirely wet, so that her bangs stuck to her forehead, dressed in dark yellow pajamas that left me confused because it wasn't even two o'clock yet.

"Jiwoo?" Her hand pressed her heart to see me, sighing relieved in a dramatic act. "Oh, you're still here, thank Goddess! Heejin would kill me if I went to her house without her homework."

I ran to give her what was asked of me, realizing, too late, how strange I seemed. "Here, everything is here."

"Cool, thanks."

By far the friendliest person in that room, who appeared slowly behind Kim — Ryūji's throat clearing, was what caused the next speech.

"You want to stay?" Sooyoung offered, but I wouldn't be able to look at her in the eye anytime soon. "We're watching horror movies, but the pizza will arrive anytime."

"Hm, n-no, I have- I have to go," I said, pressing myself against the soft white fabric. "I promised to go to the cinema with my cousins."

"Oh! Jungeun, right?" Ryujin sounded excited, crossing her arms and exchanging amused looks with her friends. "She said she'd go to Miyeon's party on Monday. You're going with her, right?"

Again, all of their eyes were locked on me. My fingers involuntarily found each other in a failed attempt to distract my brain from my social anxiety.

"I don't... I'm not much of a party person. So I don't think so."

"Yeah, I never saw you at any party," commented Hyunjin. "You should come, though."

"But the school-"

"It's a holiday," Sooyoung smiled softly turning back to me, and I immediately felt my cheeks flush; something inside me, besides the face, also burning. "Both Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday, all holidays. There's no school."

As if at the behest of fate, my cell phone rang and, seeing Jungeun's contact flash on the screen, I refused the call and thanked everyone in the world for my cousin's existence.

"I'm going to ask my family, but I really have to go now. Good movie to all of you."

I left with a quick wave and even faster steps, regardless of how weird I was being, consumed by the adrenaline that still didn't make sense to me.

Whatever happened there, it would not leave my head and I had this confirmation when I got into the passenger seat of Jungeun's car, which was in front of my house, and I noticed her curious look on me.

"Too many people at Sooyoung's house," I explained and turned around to see Taeyong and Yuna on the back seat, both holding hands. "Hello to you both."

"Hey, what were you doing at Ha Sooyoung's house?" My younger cousin asked me.

I put on the seat belt while I answered. "I had some notes to deliver to Hyunjin, at Heejin's request."

No more questions were asked of me.


	4. Seven minutes in heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiwoo actually goes to the party, but Jungeun leaves her to go after some girl and she finds herself suddenly playing Truth or Dare.

Six thirty on a Monday night and I found myself wrapped in a white towel, thrown against the mattress of my bed having just gotten out of the bath, while Jungeun and Yoona, both too excited about the unique event, tried to choose the perfect outfit for me to use and thus making a phenomenal mess in my wardrobe that I knew would be left for no one but myself to fix.

The last time I attended a party was three years ago, at the birthday party of Jeon Heejin and Jeon Jungkook, who were celebrating their fourteenth birthday and invited everyone from the school of similar age to share that moment together. The souvenirs were incredible and all the food and sweets were spotless, and Heejin herself continued to invite me to her events over the next few years, but watching Christopher Bang vomit twice in a row after mixing gin and vodka when he was not even close to being old enough to drink traumatized me to never want to repeat the experience again.

So, naturally, I was nervous about the night to come and my family's euphoria didn't help, especially when Seohyun and Yeowo arrived and my brother appeared jumping in my room dying of curiosity, wanting to be inside all the details of my party planning and even my love life.

"Who are you going to kiss today, Jiwooming?" He asked.

Lying where I was, I could see Yoona look away from the garment in her hand to me, not as discreetly as she imagined she had.

"I'm not going to kiss anyone! Where did you get such a thing from, Yeowo?"

He shrugged, innocence hanging over his childlike conscience. "Hyejoo told Wonwoo that people kiss each other at these parties. That's how you get your girlfriends and boyfriends."

"Are you listening to this?!" Jungeun shouted, her arm pointed at the my little brother and her face full of revolt. "That bastard is not worth the ground she steps on!"

"I think it's time for me to leave," Yoona said, feeling the aggressive and strange air between us. She handed my cousin what she was holding and grabbed Yeowo's waist, lifting him up with her. "And you're coming with me, young man."

"But, Mom! I just want to-" She closed the door, drowning out his complaints, but I'm sure they would continue for some time.

Jungeun took off her shirt with disgust. "Did you hear that?! If that fucking brat is telling that kind of thing to her seven-year-old brother, just imagine what the hell she's telling Taeyong! I'm going to _kill_ her!"

"Come on, Jungie, don't be so dramatic," I rolled my eyes, sitting up and watching her change her jeans to black fishnet tights and a red skirt. "Taeyong is already big enough to deal with any sexual thing people might tell him. And besides, she didn't say anything _that_ serious to Wonwoo. You know Hyuna would kill her if something like that happened."

Her dark bra was covered by a short, tight black blouse, and I heard her grumble.

"I don't doubt anything from that one, but if you prefer to think like that, it's fine for me," she stopped, breathed and looked at me, pondering for seconds before throwing me clothes and yelling. "Come on, Jiwoo, get dressed!"

Lazily, still hoping that they would let me stay home at the last minute, I did so, and I was surprised to notice that the outfit they chose for me was not bad or exaggerated — a black outfit made up of a skirt with straps and a long-sleeved top that left inches of my belly bare, and a boot with flat buttons.

I could still be _me_ in that, so I was happy and grateful.

"Why are you going to jump?" I asked when I noticed the extra height that his short boot gave him. "You know you're going to be upset with them and you're going to complain for hours like you always do."

"My dear Jiwooming," she mocked the damn nickname, putting the red lipstick on her lips as she looked at herself in the mirror on my wall. "You have no idea what kind of advantage it gives you to be taller than certain people in certain situations."

I rolled my eyes and picked up my cell phone to browse Twitter until Jungeun got tired of seeing her own face in the mirror and left my dressing table, dragging me downstairs, where Yoona made sure to take pictures of me to 'record the unique moment' while when Seohyun quoted me a list of what _not_ to do; don't forget that I don't know how to drive (like it's even possible), don't get close to the car if Jungeun is drunk, don't drink anything that makes foam, don't use drugs and don't lose sight of my cell phone.

Nothing impossible or hard, anyway.

I tried not to be offended by some of her points, but they put me out of the house before I could question about them, letting me be taken by my cousin to her car to spend almost fifteen minutes inside it before we approached an unfamiliar street, in which a very specific house attracted all the attention with its colored lights adorning its exterior white walls and the confetti scattered around the front garden.

We looked for a parking space for ten minutes, but we only found it on the street next door, having to walk make our way back, along with some people I knew belonged to my school, but who, with all those sparkling clothes, hair done and makeup, I couldn't identify, being left at the mercy of Jungeun's insight.

The house, inside, had the common lights off and was illuminated by colored flashes, the green, blue, yellow and red leading all directions that I looked at. The music, which I knew was being manipulated by Jeon Soyeon in some room over there, sounded loud and vibrant, the beat making more of an impression than the voice or the melody.

There was an entrance hall and some doors that were closed, probably where Miyeon had put the valuables of her parents and locked them so her guests wouldn't break them (which was pretty smart), and the living room was where most of the people really were — although I managed to see a good crowd out in the pool area — was free of useless furniture like sofas and TVs to allow teenagers to move freely around the space.

Hyunjin was the first person I saw; she was beside the table in the hallway near the kitchen, filling a hand with rolls while shaking her head to the beat of the music, and as soon as she saw me back, she made a surprised expression and approached me.

"Wow, you really came," she said, smiling next. "Cool."

"Hyunjin, did you see Haseul around?" My cousin asked, giving up on letting her eyes search for themselves and drawing attention to greedy search.

"Jo Haseul? I think I saw her upstairs, in one of the rooms with Nicha, that girl with the pink hair."

I frowned. "Haseul and Nicha?!"

"Oh, no! Not like _that_ ," she hurried to explain. "They were, like, talking about some international basketball team. There's a game going on today, I thinl."

I knew what was coming even before Jungeun turned to me and grabbed my arm, the begging expression on her face showing what exactly what she wanted.

"You don't mind being a little for a bit, do you, Jiwoo?" She whimpered. "You can stick to Hyunjin and call me if anything goes wrong."

I sighed, rolling my eyes. "It's okay, Jungeun. Go after poor Haseul."

My cousin smiled excitedly and kissed my cheek before jumping up the stairs to the second floor. Nothing about it needed to be said out loud.

"So..." Hyunjin's cheeks flushed since we were alone. I was fighting my urge to go back home. "Shall we eat? I'm hungry."

I waved and she guided me to the kitchen, the largest kitchen I had ever seen, with an isle in the center and large, beautiful appliances.

As if she belonged to the house, Hyunjin opened the fridge and took a jar of cream cheese, grabbing the entire bowl of nachos from the counter and taking it with a naturalness that I could never express.

I swallowed and accepted the glass of water she offered me.

"What's out there?" I pointed to the striped and screen door next to the stove.

"Oh, it's the porch," she replied as she followed my directions, the salt breaking between her teeth sounding too loudly. "Do you want to go and see? I think there are people out there too."

Of course there would be people outside, but it would still be less than there was inside the house, so I didn't think twice before opening the passage, since her hands were busy, and putting me out in the open space, having access to the view og a small courtyard with a smooth and well waxed wooden floor and, right after, the garden, composed of colorful flowers, highlighted by the lamps that came out of the grass, and small shrubs scattered like a labyrinth.

Over the patio, I could see Park Chaewon, Kang Jeonwoo, Song Jaemin, Kim Dahyun, Shin Ryujin, Jung JinSoul and Wong Kahei sitting on the floor, spread out on a wheel. Ha Sooyoung was on the swing seat near the wall, holding a bottle of apple cider while Yeh Shuhua and Seo Soojin leaned against the pillar at the other end, exchanging caresses and sharing a glass of some drink.

"Hey, it's the girl from the training!" Shuhua pointed at me as soon as she recognized me, and her speech made all eyes follow hers, making me embarrassed and red.

JinSoul, eyebrows raised in surprise, pretended to clap her hands. "Kim Jiwoo gave us the grace of her presence, guys. To whom do we owe this miracle?"

"Jungeun, she... Jungeun brought me."

"Oh, yes. I understand. It is not enough to share the same surname, now you want to be like her too, right?"

Chaewon, Kahei and Jeonwoo accompanied her laughter, but the mood didn't last long.

"You're not as funny as you think you are, JinSoul," Ryujin rolled her eyes, focusing on me next. "Come on, Jiwoo, sit next to me. We're playing."

Her friendly smile gave me some comfort and I did so, managing to breathe normally with her — who barely knew me, but always treated me so nicely — beside me, while Hyunjin headed for the swing to finish her snack in peace.

"Turn that thing around," shouted Jaemin, not even realizing he was shouting, and his request was granted by Jeonwoo because Kahei, the person closest to the bottle, seemed too dedicated to use her phone.

I only realized that the damn tip had stopped on me when Ryūji nudged my knee.

"Truth or dare, Chuu?" Park Chaewon's sly smile made me want to go home. Again.

"Truth," I wouldn't be crazy enough to choose anything else.

Her laugh came with the question. "Is it true that you are a virgin?"

I felt everyone's eyes on the wheel, and outside it, directed at me, but I would not back down now. "Yes."

"Wait!" Kang Jeonwoo shouted, his voice between surprise and drunkenness, and his arms spread to keep his attention focused. His body bowed. "But, like, you already made it to first base, right? You _have_ to have done something by now."

I wanted to say yes, I wanted to claim a false experience, just so that the feeling of exclusion would get out of my head, however, what kind of person would I be if I lied to improve the vision of people who didn't give a damn about me maintained about of myself? I could never.

I met Sooyoung's gaze a few seconds before, her body now glued to the wall for having given her friend the seat, the curiosity present on her face; she was also waiting for an answer.

I remembered of what happened two days ago in her kitchen, when we kissed, and looked away as I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

"No. I never did anything but kiss."

Jeonwoo's mouth gaped, and then the laughter came, taking advantage of my honesty.

But it wasn't that bad! So what if I had never been touched by anyone?! What difference would that make?!

Okay, it would make _some_ difference, but there was nothing funny about it!

"Why don't you focus on turning the damn bottle out?" Sooyoung scolded, earning Chaewon's sly look afterwards.

The blue-haired girl whispered something in the girlfriend's ear and the blonde seemed to like it.

"Why don't we play a game?" She proposed.

"We're already playing, JinSoul."

"Shut up, Dahyun," Kahei intruded in favor of her friend's girlfriend, without even taking her eyes off the phone screen. She seemed to be having a serious discussion through her device.

"Jiwoo," JinSoul said.

"Me?" I opened my eyes wide. "But I just did-"

"You only answered a question, _ChuuChuu_ ," and there I was, thinking that the damn nickname couldn't be made worse, but Park Chaewon _had_ to prove me wrong. "We all did a challenge tonight. JinSoul kissed Jaemin, Dahyun ran across the front garden without a shirt, Kahei locked herself in the bathroom with a sophomore girl and Ryujin played a trick on Chaeryeong. It's only fair."

I looked at Ryujin for confirmation and she gave me a half smile, unhappy to admit that it was true.

"I don't know..." I mumbled. Those people were crazy and vindictive, I didn't want to get into something that I wouldn't know how to get out of.

"Come on, virgin girl, are you scared?" Despite the mockery, JinSoul's raised eyebrows were challenging me to accept her conditions.

And maybe I had a bigger flaw than insociability: stubbornness.

What kind of teenager would I be if I reached adulthood without committing any madness?

"Fine!"

"That's how it's done, girl!" Jeonwoo celebrated, falling into Dahyun's lap then, completely drunk after finishing his last bottle of beer.

"Great!" Chaewon's voice jumped. "So I challenge you to play Seven Minutes in Paradise with," her perfectly proportioned head swirled through space to choose her prey. "Sooyoung!"

I widened my eyes at the same time that my mind tried to look for some rabbit hole in which I could hide, and made the mistake of looking at the said woman and seeing her expression raised, unable to be read.

"You can't force the poor girl to do it, Chaewon. It's stupid," Sooyoung defended.

"But it's just a game! I even thought it was going to be worse," Jaemin laughed, on the edge of drunkenness. "There's nothing wrong with that, right?"

And, in fact, I was also expecting something worse from that evil little thing. But Chaewon had accidentally chosen the person I had the most intimacy with there, even though it wasn't much — but we had _some_. We were neighbors, we were friends for a short time during childhood and we kissed two days ago.

If she had chosen JinSoul, though, my answer would have been different.

"I-I... I think it's okay."

"Beautiful!"

"Yes! You go girl!!"

I ignored the girlfriends' lines and stood up, staring at Ryūji for a second. "Can you count the time?"

In response, she smiled and waved, and I approached Sooyoung to receive her reaction, which was nothing more than holding my arm and taking me back inside the house, the door being closed by someone from the wheel as soon as we entered. 

Honestly, if she hadn't done it, I would have given up... Too many social barriers for just one day.

"It looks like we have some connection to the kitchens, don't we?" The brunette joked, hands already away from me, her feet wandering through space.

I hugged my own body so that the long sleeves of my blouse covered the exposed part of my belly and rested against the counter behind me. "I'm sorry you were included in this."

"It's okay," she didn't look at me, running her fingers over the dishes hanging from the top of the sink cabinet. "I don't like those games, I think they're childish. But I don't mind this one consequence."

Her speech had been too suggestive not to make me think about it, and my eyes were quite distracted by her tight black pants, which gave her muscular legs an exceptional contour and were cut too short, so much of her worked abdomen could be dried by me.

In a way, our clothes even matched.

"Can I ask you a question? Besides what I'm already asking right now, of course," again, Sooyoung caught me looking at her and smiled, too convinced for her own good, but with no intention of rubbing it in my face.

I nodded, unsure of what to expect.

"Jiwoo, when was your first kiss?"

Okay, I should have predicted that and not let her catch me off guard. I felt exposed.

"I, uh," her eyes continued to stare at me, my shame fighting my honesty to answer it. "Last Saturday?"

Her eyebrows went up again in surprise this time. "Me?"

I nodded.

Her footsteps then took a slow speed towards me while her hand still slid through the objects around her. I got her full attention only when we were too close for her not to be directed at me, at my face and at all of my youthful details.

"Can I?" She asked, her action so implicit, yet so obvious.

Once again, I could only move my head and there were her lips, glued to mine in a wet encounter, with the taste of apple from her cider, our saliva exchanging between one mouth and another. And, heavens, it was so nice to kiss Sooyoung that the feeling made my stomach heat up, turn inside my body, and my skin burned with every inch where she touched me.

My hands went to her shoulders and hers to my waist, squeezing it before applying the force necessary to put me on top of the marble, her body now between my legs.

I found myself hungry for the touch, the touch that led me so easily to drunkenness, when I had not ingested even a sip of alcohol, to sleepwalking, when I has been awake the whole time.

Sooyoung pulled my hair and disconnected our mouths, heading for my neck, but, before her tongue could touch the hot skin, we heard the knocking on the other side of the door.

"Jiwoo, the time is up!" Ryujin's voice came, forcing us to separate.

I heard the voice of Chaewon and Kahei complaining to Ryujin for not letting them take us by surprise, and I decided that I had had enough games for the rest of the entire semester, leaving them behind to go looking for my cousin. Didn't look agian at Sooyoong once.

I found Jungeun locked up with Nicha and Haseul in one of the guest rooms and had to pretend to pay attention to the game that the Thai girl was so devotedly watching while waiting for Jungeun to finish her kiss session with Haseul on the balcony, before being taken home by a sexually frustrated — there was not enough privacy there to have intimate relationships — Kim Jungeun.

I didn't sleep for even five minutes all night. My head kept taking me back to this one moment where my nervous system was a mess and my body was on fire.

**Author's Note:**

> my twitter is hosieonthejelly in case anyone wants to follow or chat, and i appreciate any kudo or comment!!!! <3 i'll try to be back soon! stay healthy everyone!


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